Can Friends Casually Hook-Up?

by: Jonathan Hermann

Yes, friends can casually hook-up. Should they? That’s the real question.  

Hook-ups are sinfully delicious; there is no doubt about that. The idea of casually getting physical with someone new—whether it’s just one sweaty embrace in the back of a club or a series of sweaty embraces back at his resort room—appeals to our wild side, which enjoys seizing the moment and doing what the body wants.  

Hook-ups with friends are equally tempting, but definitely dangerous. Many of us have a friend that, let’s face it, we wouldn’t mine seeing naked. Even though he’s not boyfriend material, he still has a spicy, sensual vibe that seems to come out after you’ve had a few too many rum punches.  

Then one particular night rolls around, when you’re all alone with this particular gent after your other friends have bailed. You’re looking hot (as usual), and you can’t help but notice the glances he’s casting your way.  

Before you make that leap, busting out of the friend zone to hook-up for the night, you think the same thing all women think right before they jump into the arms of a man they hardly know: “I can handle this—I’m a strong woman who deserves to have a little reckless fun every now and then.” 

That is, you try to think like a man. Men never seem to have lingering emotional effects after kickin’ it with an exotic beauty. That’s because guys hook-up for different reasons than girls.  

For guys, the desire is always the same: they want to touch the sexy. If you have the sexy, then they want to touch you. Give them the sexy, and they’re happy—but not addicted to your particular brand of the sexy. 

Girls, on the other hand, get addicted quite easily. It’s not your fault, ladies—it’s your bodies.  

When women are intimate, their bodies release the hormone oxytocin, which is the same powerful drug that bonds a woman to her new-born child. Men produce oxytocin too when they get up close and personal with a fine female, but it’s overpowered by testosterone.  

So after hooking-up, the woman suddenly feels attached to the man, but the feelings are not mutual. He’ll easily walk away the next morning, leaving the girl hurt and feeling used.  

When these feelings come between friends, the friendship will never be the same. She’ll always see him as “that guy who hurt me,” and he’ll always think of her as “that chick I can have whenever I want.”  

So back to the original question: should friends casually hook-up? Not if they want to remain friends.